WILL BORIS MASQUERADE WITH THE WORLD LEADERS OR WILL HE DROP THE MASK?

In what is increasing starting to feel like Britain is playing a part in the Commedia Dell Arte Venetian theatre, with Boris playing the Joker at home, he will soon be traveling the world negotiating the trade deals the UK is going to need to stay afloat after Brexit?

For those who don’t know what Brexit is, it’s the UK’s attempt to go back to our colonial days and take back control? If this fails we will sink without a trace, but us Brits will stay positive because it will mean that we have beaten global warming to it!

So, will Boris drop the mask when he meets the leaders of our, soon to be, great trading partners

First off Boris will jet off to America, to meet his look-a-like, Donald Trump. Here the UK is looking to trade in everything except chlorine, hormones and pharmaceuticals.

In a country where Johnson has an entirely different meaning, we have Joker meets Jester. America is the only country that Boris does not need to masquerade as anyone but himself

From here, he will climb a wall and visit Mexico, where the UK is hoping to replicate the EU trade deal we already have with Mexico, with a few tweaks, pencilled in by our new founding father, DonaldTrump

For his Mexican visit Boris will be lending a nod to the Mexican holiday celebrations and masquerading with a Day of the Dead mask.

Next up is India where we are hoping to continue our reverse Colonialism, the irony of which is lost on Brexit Britain

He is hoping to resurrect the East India Company and increase our trade in silk scarves. One of Boris’s favorite pieces of clothing. Expect to see Boris wearing the Scaramouche mask, a stock clown character from the Commedia Dell Arte. The long nose, raised above the head, emulates the raised trunk of the worshipped elephant. Elephants symbolize good luck, wisdom, protection and fertility. We are told only one of these qualities is symbolic with our Prime Minister

Back in Europe Boris will be meeting the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, where he is expected to wear his favorite mask, the Bauta, decorated with playing cards (very apt)

It used to be obligatory to wear the Bauta mask at certain political decision-making events, in order to keep the identity hidden of the decision-makers. With its full face and beak-like chin, this mask will enable him to discuss the ins and outs of why they need us, more than we need them.

Finally, if he gets time, he would love to don his devil mask and make a flying visit to the Netherlands to give Royal Dutch Shell PLC a quick lesson on UK Corporation Tax, before returning home, to meet his cabinet colleagues, where he will be able to drop the mask and relax

Good luck Boris, you are going to need it

If you would like to take part in the masquerade scene or are going to a Venetian-themed ball then visit